All the Pain of Betrayal
by SqueekyPhr33k
Summary: Betrayal hurts deeper than anything. I hate her. I have to. Zim centered oneshot.


Zim stared at the controls deep within his base, he lazily ran his hand over them, not touching anything, becoming more bored at the moment. He thought of his latest encounter with Dib, how he desired defeat him.

It was at skool, Dib had been talking to his scary sister about Zim, and since Zim had nothing to do but observe the filthy children play, he couldn't help but overhear with his amazing hearing abilities.

"Gaz, I know you don't really care but I've been studying Zim more and more." Dib's voice rang out over all the other children's, at least to Zim.

"Does this have a point?" She was deeply buried into her new Gameslave 2, not paying attention to Dib whatsoever.

"No, I guess it doesn't." Dib sighed. "Because, I discovered nothing but what I've already discovered." Dib said, at a loss for an explanation and motivation for his sister to listen.

Gaz growled and turned away from him.

"Gaz, you know he's an alien though!" Dib shouted in a distressed tone.

"Yea, so?" Gaz said angrily. Zim perked, he had forgotten someone besides Dib suspected anything.

"Why don't you care that he's going to destroy us?!" Dib's hands hesitated before taking her shoulders, he knew better not to touch her, ever.

"Why do you care?" Gaz mumbled.

"Because! If I don't...he'll be successful!" Dib shouted. Zim smirked, he took this as praise, no matter how unintentional it was.

"I don't think so." Gaz said. "I think he'll be as successful as you'll ever be finding something new. Now leave me alone!" She promptly got up and walked away from her frustrated brother.

Zim turned to watch her go. He became curiously interested in the thoughts of this Gaz-human, he took it personally that she thought he would not be successful, but she had proved her strength and intelligence when she rescued Dib, and...kind of defeated (only kind of because he'd never admit he was ever defeated) him in a nano battle, even if she did think it was only a game.

She was a creature worth curiosity, if that was even possible for a human.

There was only one other being he had been curious about, and that was a far away memory that made his PAK make a noise like an old computer booting up.

It was in the academy that he met this being. She was attractive to many other irkens, even her own instructors saw that, mostly in the sense of her potential as being a superior irken being. He remembers them talking how if she continued to grow she could possibly become the next Tallest, it would be an amazing new history change, two female Tallests in a row, maybe even ruling side by side, the first ever pair of rulers! Female at that!

Tallest Miyuki was often there to monitor the growing irken students, possibly spying on new invaders. Zim never knew if Tallest Miyuki ever payed attention to him, but he hoped he was admired, he never let his height get in the way.

He found himself watching Tonna, he admired her, but knew he could be an equal if he could just get her attention. He had tried to talk to her, he often would yell it when she was nearby, but whenever she turned to look, someone else, taller than him caught her in conversation.

It wasn't until an ordinary day he wanted to get a snack when he angrily realized there wasn't any. There wasn't another snack machine in the building for that matter. He turned to try and find something to blow up, and there she was, standing there, in line to another door, but right behind him, he was standing in her looming shadow.

She stared down at him, for a moment, he thought his shell would have collapsed right then. She smiled, and asked, "Would you like my snack? I'm not going to eat it."

She outstretched her long arm with an irken snack in her palm. Zim quietly took it, and nodded.

"Tonna! What are you doing with this little smeet? He's obviously not in your class." A irken in training harshly asked her. Zim frowned at the other irken.

"He wanted a snack, and since I wasn't going to eat mine, I just gave it to him." She looked back at Zim, who was hungrily eating the snack. "He is too in my class, he's wearing the same collar."

"Yes...but he's so...short. And if you are nice to one more...lower being, I'm going to have to report you to the instructors."

"So I guess I shouldn't be nice to you then...smeetling." She hissed back to the irken. "I don't even know you, so stay out of my life." She waved her hand in his face. The other irken slowly turned, with his head hung low and walked into the class, sniffling.

"But, you don't know me...Tonna." Zim said, feeling weird talking to her.

"I guess you're right. What's your name?" Zim was gleeful when she asked this.

"I AM ZIM!" He shouted with his hands up in the air, throwing the empty snack away.

"Zim..." She gasps. "You're not the same irken who clogged up the smeet chute are you and caused that HORRIBLE black out for 5 years, are you?"

Zim looked at her, she was shocked. "Um...no. Of course not. Different person, entirely." Sweat went pouring down his face, hoping she didn't see through his lie.

"Oh, okay."

A friendship started to grow, she would often sit near him at breaks and they would talk about their amazing abilities and how the academy was working out for them.

"I can't wait, Zim! I'm the first in my class! I've scored a perfect on almost every test!"

"Yes, yes, very interesting. I didn't get pushed over in the obstacle course today."

"I think things are getting better for the both of us, Zim. I can't wait until we graduate together!" Her happiness was a little annoying, but Zim put up with it, he often found himself less angry when she encouraged him. Zim also did not want to get into a fight with her, he had seen her on the simulation battle field, she was ruthless, and he secretly feared for anyone who crossed her.

Zim was, though he didn't know it, starting to gain respect out of the knowledge they had formed a friendship then. He always thought it was because of his amazing skills he was simply born with.

The other students, ignored him then, instead of going out of their way to cause him pain. Not that Tonna threatened anyone, she seemed to avoid real fights as much as possible, even though she obviously could win.

It all eventually changed. Zim only wished it was after graduation, so they could have talked or something about how they were proud of each other.

"Today, was an amazing day! I successfully slaughtered a couple of simulation Meekrob! I know they all were silent because of my amazing feat! It was NOT because they didn't care, or it took me three times, it was because I am amazing and I silenced them all!"

Tonna was quiet, she didn't respond to his good news. She just sat there, staring at the ground.

"Tonna. Didn't you hear me? I did something amazing...again!" Zim shouted.

"I did." She tried to smile, but it was obviously forced. "Listen," She paused, she turned to look at him, it was painful for her. "I've got to talk to you."

"Yes? I thought we were...talking." Zim looked puzzled at her, he had never seen her this way.

"Zim...I...can't be friends with you...anymore." Her lip was quivering, Zim had never seen anyone act this way before. He saw it as weakness, as that's what they were studying in the academy, but her stature contradicted any form of it.

"Why...? Tonna, you look..."

"I just can't Zim! I...have to do this, for the greater good." She took a shaking breath, and looked down at him.

"For our good? Or yours?" Zim scowled up at her, she had betrayed their friendship, he wasn't going to let her feel good about it, though she looked like she had already been crying for a long time. "Tonna! Answer me!"

She looked like she was going to collapse to his feet, but she stood up and said, "I..." she choked, Zim was getting tired of this show of emotions, he was getting frustrated with all her weaknesses.

"I'm sorry, Zim. Goodbye." Zim got one last glimpse of her purple eyes, before she turned and walked away.

"FINE! GO AND DO...YOUR STUFF!! I'LL DO...MY STUFF!!!" Zim screamed back at her, she didn't look back. He let out the loudest growl he'd ever done and he decided from that moment he hated her. No matter what she did; she was not worth his time.

Zim suspected that she had been forced to stop being friends, either by peer pressure of all the other students, or maybe even all of her instructors; threatening to make her a food service drone or something. But she had made her forced decision, and that was her weakness, not his.

Besides, he had proved everyone wrong by becoming an invader, and he will even impress them more when he defeats this filthy planet and moves onto greater things.

He happily imagined him defeating earth, and watching Dib cower under him. But with that thought came the scary thought of Gaz. He imagined her successfully battling him, after all, she didn't expect him to become anything great.

There would be, after he defeated the little Dib-human, a struggle between Gaz and him. Zim thought of just leaving it to the armada to destroy her, but even then he felt he should prepare.

He thought of strategies he could defeat Gaz, it was ponderous how she was able to simply kick the containment chamber he had built himself, he also thought of how she could handle the escape pods so well. It was almost frightening.

She had a leadership quality in her, and that was attractive. Her hair...it was the same color as Tonna's eyes. He shook that thought out of him quickly.

"Time for strategies, not musings!" He looked around the controls once more, falling back into his thoughts.

"What could defeat the Gaz-human?" Zim asked aloud.

Anything destructive he thought was quickly countered with something of Gaz's nature, scary at that.

He suddenly thought of befriending her.

"Yes...maybe that would work. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

If Zim companioned Gaz, and maybe well enough, Gaz would have a great struggle between betraying Dib...and betraying Zim.

Though, Zim thought of the relations between humans and their families, how subtly strong they were.

How Gaz, even though she seemed like she disliked Dib's company, would betray Zim just as Tonna did.

He sat there for a moment, holding it in as best as he could, the fury was making him shiver hotly.

Zim's frustration grew to an ultimate high and he began beating the desk intensely.

White pain fell in the center of his chest, a lump in his throat was getting heavier.

He was screaming now, though all he could feel was the vibration around him.

He beat the metal desk faster and stronger, he could barely feel his fists growing numb from the thrashing.

Finally his PAK sent a jolt to stop the self affliction to it's shell.

Realizing his arms were temporarily paralyzed, he let out a harsh sob and began throwing his head at the wall.

Bitter tears finally overflowed after he had tried so hard to keep them in.

Zim tried to convince himself he had no weakness and the ones who betrayed him were the ones weak.

He howled louder wishing distract himself from all the hurt.

Almost as if on cue, the PAK shocked him again, paralyzing him, forcing him unconscious for a few hours.

Where he would later wake with the frustration and all the pain of betrayal once again, forgotten.


End file.
